June 3rd, 2025

We'll I'm not posting everyday but I am keeping up every few days.  I try to write something before I go to bed.  While I'm winding down for the evening. 

Today hit me pretty hard with a trigger. I had heard about the 3 girls missing in Washington state from visitation with they're father.  Well today I found out that they found the girls murdered presumably by their father.

Evelyn, Paityn and Olivia Decker Story

https://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/national-international/washington-state-father-missing-daughters-dead/3883547/

You see, after I left my kids father, he told my 5 year old son that he was getting married again because he needed a new mommy for when I was gone.  He had also told me for years he would kill them before he let me have custody of them.  So I feared for all our lives.  Luckily he never followed through with it but the threats made me fearful. 

I had to do some grounding exercises to begin with.

Health line

https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding-techniques

Then I did self talk to remind myself I'm not there anymore and I survived all that.

This also reminded me of the story of 

Teri Jendusa-Nicolai David story

https://www.womansday.com/relationships/dating-marriage/a58621/teri-jendusa-nicolai-domestic-violence-survivor/

She survived an attack by her Ex husbands who beat her and left her in a storage unit during the middle of winter in Illinois in a garbage can for dead.  This happened shortly after I left my husband. 

I also did some writing in my "Shadow Work Journal" book by Keila Shaheen, I highly recommend this book if you’ve already been doing therapy work with a licensed therapist. I don't endorse or get paid to recommend any products. But, I personally really like this book and it was recommended by my therapist.