Welcome to my blog.

Welcome to my blog.  

I've been thinking about doing a blog page for awhile now but finally dove into it. So if you've found this page, you're either Family or Friends or were searching about a topic I have or will cover.  My life has definitely has it's ups and downs.  I'm finally at the point in my life that I'm not ashamed to tell others about them, they happened TO me, but don't define me.  I've grown alot in the past two years and many many years before that of alot of work too to get to this point in my life.  I have a much more positive outlook on life and my faith has grown tremendously.  I have begun to do speaking engagements about my experiences and have recently been asked to be on a board of SURVIVORS for one of the areas my trials are in.
I don't know how often I will be able to get on here but I will try to get on here as often as possible. I'm currently in the process of writing a book about my experiences, so hopefully this will help with that as well.The other thing is I used to be a great speller but thanks to a brain injury, I'm not good at that anymore.  But, thanks to spell checker that helps.  Sometimes I miss things though so I apologize in advance.  Also there's no grammar checker! LOL

So now for my Trials and hopefully some good blog topics for the future.
Well first I grew up with an alcoholic Father, so life in my home was all about a Big deep dark secret and there were good moments but alot of bad moments too.  He doesn't drink anymore, is married to a wonderful lady who I'm proud to call my Step-Mom and he's a much calmer person now. I Love you Dad!

My Mom was an abusive Mom at times.  I know it was because she was dealing with alot herself.  She was in a Alcoholic and Domestic Violence situation.  But, it took a toll on my life and made me the person I am today. She also isn't the same person she was growing up.  She's also calmed down alot and I'm finally able to have a better relationship with her.  I Love you Mom!

I was molested as a child by a so called family friend.  I didn't start having flashbacks of this until I was in my 20's.  I had no clue this happened to me before then.  My mind just shut down as a child and I put it deep deep in the back of my mind where I couldn't even find it. It did explain the recurring nightmare I had since I was a child though.  Which I'll share later.

Next, is that I struggled for years in school with a learning disability.  I have what is now known as Dyscalculia (the math form of Dyslexia.)  When things get overwhelming for me in a math problem, the numbers appear to start flying off the page and jumble around.  I had to work twice as hard as everyone else to get good grades.

I found out when I was 10 after falling on a trampoline and not being able to straighten my back that I was born with a defective vertebrae which causes another one to slip, called Spondylolisthesis.  Try spelling that at 10yrs old, which I did.  I was in a back brace my senior year of High School.  (Yes, what a great Senior year and memory! LOL)

Then I married a new convert to the church shortly after I was Baptized (oh, I'm a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.)  He ended up being a mean man.  I left after 15 yrs of marriage, the last five were the worst. I realized I was in a Domestic Violence situation.

I had a serious car accident that I surprisingly survived thanks to my Heavenly Father watching over me. I literally got pulled from the driver's seat to the passenger's seat by 2 hands. Angels or God or whatever you want to believe. But I am here today because of it and a seat belt that came undone to allow this to happen. The driver side door was literally in the middle of the driver's seat.The EMT's on the scene thought I was paralyzed.  I visited them to thank them after I got a bit better to Thank them and was told that.   I had 2 more car accidents after this one.

Just after my accident, we found out my eldest son had cancer.  He was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma, bone cancer.  He was only 14 yrs old.  He was already a teenager, angry about the divorce and being brainwashed by his father into thinking it was all my fault and now he was angry about this as well.

Then I waited 9 years before I got remarried, it only lasted a year and a half.  It was also a Domestic Violence situation but I realized much sooner and had the confidence to leave much sooner.

Then I had a Mild Traumatic Brain Injury from a work injury. There's really NOTHING Mild about it though. It just means my head wasn't ripped open, no skull fracture, and no bleeding on the brain.  But I got head butted (yes that's right hit in the head by someone else's head.) by a client at work.  I worked with developmentally and physically challenged adults.  I was working one on one with an autistic client and he got frustrated and head butted me.  First, he was a BIG guy, like a football player.  Second, if I hadn't had all the other physical violence and car accidents in my life it may have gone away sooner but this was like the final straw that broke the camel's back.  

I'm having trouble working on a daily basis. Even when at work, I'm having more trouble concentrating on work and getting more dizzy spells at work. I've been either leaving earlier than my reduced hours schedule or missing work completely on difficult days. I'm having trouble paying my bills. In need help until my brain starts functioning normally again. It's frustrating, because looking at me on the outside I look normal. But, if you were to be able to get into my head, you would understand how this brain is not functioning at normal limits. I feel like I'm in a fog daily. I even forget my own name sometimes. It's so frustrating. I want my life back and to be able to get back to work someday but I need help for now. I'm a very independent person and it's been hard for me to have to ask for help. Mild Traumatic Brain Injury or Concussion. Frontal Lobe Head Injury caused by Head Butt causing Occipital nerve damage. Causing daily headaches changing in severity from 3 to 9 on the pain level scale. Dizziness with bending down, getting up too fast, and turning head. Off balance. Trouble with sleep. Out of sorts, in a dream state. Foggy head. Blurry vision when reading for long period. Sensitivity to lights and sound. Aphasia forming words, sentences. Short term or working memory loss. Executive Functioning issues including organization, planning, problem solving, Attention and concentration issues. Can’t multitask anymore. Trouble going up and down stairs. Lack of normal activity Movies, dancing, teaching Sunday school, board games with kids, Genealogy on the computer, housework is slacking.

So thank you for visiting my blog page and hope you get some inspiration from what I post.

Laurel